Y'know? Like Nya? :3

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
king-chaos-world
givememyhatbackyourabbit

So someone pointed out to me recently that in a few years, maybe a few decades, the history of the us during covid is probably going to get twisted. The fact that we all had to make and wear cloth masks is going to be hailed as a symbol of how we “"came together as a nation”“” or whatever the fuck propaganda spin they try to put on it.

So I just want to say, for the record, the time of the corona virus pandemic was not a time when america came together.

This was a time when people hoarded toilet paper and sanitizing supplies either for themselves or to sell at absurd prices to the desperate people who didn’t get to the store soon enough during the shortages

This was a time when scared parents were sending their kids to finish school in the spring in plastic trash bags because they couldn’t think of any other way to possibly keep their families safe

This was a time when grocery store and retail and service workers were forced to keep working whether they wanted to risk their health or not because they couldn’t make rent otherwise and the people with enough privilege to have remote jobs tried to repay them with applause instead of fair wages

This was a time when nurses had the hold the hands of multiple dying people every day as their families watched their loved ones die over a video call because the hospital couldn’t risk having visitors

This was a time when city governments had to handle so many eviction hearings that they rented out convention centers and called in the national guard instead of doing a rent freeze to stop predatory landlords

This was a time when racism and police brutality were so unbearably horrible that people protested in the streets for months even though there was a god damn pandemic that our federal government wasn’t doing shit to stop and the cops were so mad that they were being asked to stop beating up black people that they were beating up everyone

This was a time when schools being forced to reopen in the fall or lose their federal funding had to draft templates for letters if a teacher or a staff person or a fucking child died from exposure to corona at school

This was a time when the president of the United states demanded that the cdc stop releasing data about all the people who were dying because of the warnings he ignored for months were making him look bad

This was a time when some state governments didn’t mandate masks and forced businesses to reopen because they didn’t want to pay unemployment to people trying to stay safe at home anymore

This was a time when Jeff Bezos was on track to be a fucking trillionare because everyone was ordering things on amazon instead of going to the store and the people he worked to death to get it didn’t see a single cent of it

This was a time when instead of providing homeless people with housing, we painted boxes on the ground to show homeless people how far away the had to be on the street to maintain social distancing

We did not come together to make cloth masks. Cloth masks represent nothing less than the absolute and utter failure of a nation’s government to inform and protect its citizens

This was not a time when we came together. This was a time when we survived, and not all of us made it.

This was a time when people casually talked about how many human lives the economy was worth without considering the evil that had just come out of their mouths.

This was a time when thousands of us died for profit and the ego of a cheating narcissists con man who scammed his way into the white house

This was a time that we survived. Most of us tried to do the right thing, stay home, limit trips to the store and socializing, wear a mask. And still, so many of us were lost. Thousands every day.

But that wasn’t a good enough reason for some people, for those among us who were too selfish to recognize the responsibilities we have toward one another as human beings.

This was not a time that we came together

This was a time that we survived

Not all of us made it

And those of us who did survive will never forget the evil we saw daily in our politicians and those around us

butterflyinthewell

And now we’re watching all the mandates drop, leaving disabled and immunocompromised people to flounder and possibly die. As if the lives of very old, disabled people with advanced alzheimers are totally without value, as if somebody taking meds for severe eczema don’t matter, as if somebody with asthma or cystic fibrosis should just shut up and risk their lives to grocery shop for food, as if kids who just had a bone marrow transplant don’t deserve to grow up.

We sent kids to school when there is a virus in the air that researchers wear full protective gear to study in a lab.

COVID-19 showed the world how fucking selfish people are and it’s disgusting.

princesstigerbelle

Once again, a neural net tries to name cats

lewisandquark

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Last year I trained a neural net to generate new names for kittens, by giving it a list of over 8,000 existing cat names to imitate. Starting from scratch, with zero knowledge of English or any context for the words and letter combinations it was trying out, it tried to predict what letters might be found in cat names, and in which order. Its names ranged from the strange to the completely nonsensical to the highly unfortunate (Retchion, Hurler, and Trickles were some of its suggestions). Without knowledge of English beyond its list of cat names, it didn’t know what letter combinations to avoid.

So I decided to revisit the cat-naming problem, this time using a neural net that had a lot more context. GPT-2, trained by OpenAI on a huge chunk of the internet, knows which words and letter combinations tend to be used together on the English-language internet. It also has (mostly) figured out which words and letter combinations to avoid, at least in some contexts (though it does tend to suddenly switch contexts, and then, yikes).

When I trained GPT-2 on the list of cat names using Max Woolf’s colab notebook, it still retained a lot of what it had learned from the rest of the internet. Gone were the strange names like “Tilly-Mapper” and “Balllucidoux” - it had a bunch of real words it could use instead. Here are some of the names it came up with - and the Morris Animal Refuge (who you may remember from that time they used neural net names for their guinea pigs) has given some of these names to some highly adoptable kittens.

First, neural net can do fancy:

Taffeta
Pompompur
Monocle
Tom Glitter
Notion
Tinnitus
Cheesemonger
M. Tinklesby Linklater Soap

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It can also do the opposite of fancy:

Scat Cat Butthole
Gangrene
Moisture
Grotesque
Petard
Oilbag
Buttwig
The Cream
Meatbag
Dr Fart
Fudge Putty
Scumbag
Constipation
BUTT

And it can also do names ranging from tough to downright sinister:

Miss Vulgar
Lillith The Vamp
Elle Fury
Deadbolt
Romeo of Darkness
Starmaker
Fist
Warning Signs
Bibles Smoked
The Firestarter
Higher Rune
Scarlet Be Thy Coat
Kill All Humans
Bones Of The Master
Mr. Sinister
Evil Whispers
Spawn
Serendipitous Kill
Stranglehold

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(Starmaker and Whiskeridoo are from a litter that had upper respiratory infections that damaged their eyes, but even though their world is kinda cloudy, they love to play and cuddle.)

I’m a particular fan of the Very Weird cat names:

Honeystring
Dr Leg
Tom Noodle
Pinball Scene
Peanutbutterjiggles
You’re Telling A Lie
Beep Boop
Thoughts
Bobble Bun
Atmosphere
You Name It
Whiskeridoo
Sparky Buttons

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Seemingly
This Guy
Various Authors
Chicken Whiskey
Fish Especially
Thelonious Monsieur
Ringo Shuffles
Sweet Cakes
EXTAs (Eye Stalks)
Checker Spin Donut Quin
Two Patz Grandpa
He Glad
Funky Moe
Fluttering Feelers
Accepted A Tribute
Chewie Bean
PLEASE
Gregory Chimney
Notable PRODUCT LEGEND Weird Science Platinum
Not Suitable For Character the Enforcer

Did I mention these cats are adoptable? If you live near Philadelphia, you live near these kitties!

Bonus content: yet more cat names!

unhealthydoctors
skarchomp

the Komodo Dragon is the biggest, strongest, most dangerous apex predator that is physically incapable of looking at all threatening

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skarchomp

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i could conceivably be torn to pieces and eaten alive by these things and my last words would be “lmao” 

skarchomp

me on my way to bring down an elk twice my size using deadly bacteria that grows on my fangs

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serpentking456

The “septic bacteria” thing is a myth. Komodo Dragons have venom glands, but they don’t even play a very big role in bringing down their prey, as studies show they hunt in a manner that’s actually very similar to tigers and other mammalian predators (as described in this fantastic Imgur post http://imgur.com/gallery/RUeB9 ).

tharook

me on my way to bring down an elk twice my size in a manner that’s very similar to tigers and other mammalian predators

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itsagifnotagif
pissvortex

just remembered my favorite ben shapiro own of all time which is when he was debating a transgender woman on dr. drew and he made a point to misgender her as many times as possible in a single sentence so she put her hand on the back of his neck like she was picking up a kitten, looked him dead in the eyes, and said “cut it out or you’ll be leaving here in an ambulance”

shapiro started immediately sniveling about civility in political debate like the little cockroach he is but not a single person in the room would back him up

pissvortex

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burn-away-the-flags--begin-again

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